Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
