With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
