they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
