I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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