I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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