this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
