East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
