onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize