hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We're too hungover to prance.
I need to calm my uterus...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
