My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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