just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
dude. I can hear the air.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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