Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize