This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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