the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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