so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
