sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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