you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
