its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
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He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
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How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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