i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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