I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
