I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Shame - the story of my life.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
