if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
