in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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