Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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