whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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