The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
