Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
