The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
