I love black thongs
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I will be naked everywhere
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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