That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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