I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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