Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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