But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
