Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights