Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?

(1-802): View more from Vermont

The one in Montpelier?

(802): View more from Vermont

yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.

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(802): You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns? (1-802): The one in Montpelier? (802): yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed. http://tfl.nu/hzcv

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(850): View more from Florida

this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen

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(850): this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen http://tfl.nu/1apt

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(989): View more from Michigan

News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.

(1-989): View more from Michigan

Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.

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(989): News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus. (1-989): Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right. http://tfl.nu/jho0

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(702): View more from Nevada

So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?

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(702): So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night? http://tfl.nu/xjy9

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?

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(412): do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister? http://tfl.nu/on91

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(847): View more from Illinois

i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"

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(847): i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong" http://tfl.nu/catg

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(360): View more from Washington

He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees

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(360): He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees http://tfl.nu/gf2k

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.

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(401): I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard. http://tfl.nu/cjsq

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds

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(603): a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ayni

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.

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(864): We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom. http://tfl.nu/8ad4

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(858): View more from California

I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?

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(858): I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again? http://tfl.nu/4q23

Replies (4) Good night (1169) Bad night (465)
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(905): View more from Ontario

i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.

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(905): i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth. http://tfl.nu/negs

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted

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(843): I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted http://tfl.nu/7fyh

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.

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(850): I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute. http://tfl.nu/idmm

Replies (2) Good night (1045) Bad night (194)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.

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(303): I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process. http://tfl.nu/smqj

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