your parents love me but you hate me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?