Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?

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  (919): So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that? http://tfl.nu/v1uh
  Replies (13) Good night (645) Bad night (3531)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.

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  (785): Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend. http://tfl.nu/tpw6
  Replies (26) Good night (729) Bad night (5563)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.

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  (412): im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again. http://tfl.nu/heac
  Replies (38) Good night (4421) Bad night (899)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.

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  (615): I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women. http://tfl.nu/xpcj
  Replies (8) Good night (3207) Bad night (1004)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"

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  (304): What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?" http://tfl.nu/r7md
  Replies (12) Good night (3508) Bad night (1404)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again

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  (480): He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again http://tfl.nu/s0mc
  Replies (9) Good night (3937) Bad night (888)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?

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  (919): is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people? http://tfl.nu/ymsz
  Replies (14) Good night (3604) Bad night (1646)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster

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  (419): You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster http://tfl.nu/810i
  Replies (9) Good night (2685) Bad night (1082)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis

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  (215): This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis http://tfl.nu/mvim
  Replies (17) Good night (1634) Bad night (2779)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"

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  (+27): Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party" http://tfl.nu/3xpc
  Replies (10) Good night (1366) Bad night (2238)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?

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  (814): There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night? http://tfl.nu/ijar
  Replies (5) Good night (1212) Bad night (484)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.

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  (612): rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/9ytt
  Replies (12) Good night (1324) Bad night (545)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...

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  (214): Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake... http://tfl.nu/n6e9
  Replies (5) Good night (1264) Bad night (444)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.

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  (204): Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small. http://tfl.nu/6zla
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (683)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand

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  (703): we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand http://tfl.nu/zspz
  Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (369)

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