Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center

(1-917): View more from New York City

you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth

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(917): so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center (1-917): you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth http://tfl.nu/ukvm

Replies (78) Good night (15720) Bad night (1112)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

why is allison so mad at me??

(469): View more from Texas

me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".

(318): View more from Louisiana

crap..

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(318): why is allison so mad at me?? (469): me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!". (318): crap.. http://tfl.nu/7nes

Replies (28) Good night (1603) Bad night (6067)
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(816): View more from Missouri

... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.

(314): View more from Missouri

I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.

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(816): ... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night. (314): I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it. http://tfl.nu/jfox

Replies (7) Good night (4371) Bad night (1036)
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(330): View more from Ohio

98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk

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(330): 98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk http://tfl.nu/zq8d

Replies (3) Good night (1704) Bad night (830)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.

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(918): I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims. http://tfl.nu/k6sh

Replies (3) Good night (1851) Bad night (807)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.

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(859): You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point. http://tfl.nu/cgpy

Replies (11) Good night (1451) Bad night (671)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order

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(443): Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order http://tfl.nu/s460

Replies (4) Good night (1268) Bad night (665)
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(289): View more from Ontario

you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window

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(289): you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window http://tfl.nu/k0yo

Replies (7) Good night (1717) Bad night (825)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.

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(215): so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/j7g1

Replies (12) Good night (1512) Bad night (543)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.

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(504): From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra. http://tfl.nu/w04v

Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (1177)
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(406): View more from Montana

It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.

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(406): It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change. http://tfl.nu/cbid

Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (559)
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(714): View more from California

Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?

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(714): Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ? http://tfl.nu/wlh8

Replies (5) Good night (1014) Bad night (446)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.

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(203): I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed. http://tfl.nu/lxpv

Replies (10) Good night (930) Bad night (579)
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(817): View more from Texas

Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.

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(817): Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go. http://tfl.nu/gkdk

Replies (5) Good night (916) Bad night (414)
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(760): View more from California

Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?

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(760): Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection? http://tfl.nu/93gn

Replies (5) Good night (495) Bad night (641)

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