if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she told me i tasted like america
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
