I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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