I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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