literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
