She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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