it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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