that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I need moral support for this bender
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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