If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
