You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
