YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize