the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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