is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
