My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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