Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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