I CAN MOONWALK!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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