I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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