if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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