I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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