you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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