I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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