It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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