in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
