woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize