Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
