Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
