At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
